‘He called me a neurotic mother’.
That was the reaction Ali Hinde got when she took her young baby, Fraser, to the doctors when she had a ‘gut feeling’ something was wrong.
He had been born completely healthy and was an ‘active’ baby for months. But when he contracted a severe case of chickenpox, everything changed.
Ali, who lives in Northamptonshire, told Metro.co.uk: ‘His whole body had a terrible reaction to the chickenpox and he was put on really strong antibiotics and monitored, which was really scary as he was only six-months-old.
‘Then he never seemed to recover properly. He wasn’t engaging with things he enjoyed before, he became grouchy. The doctors had never seen a chickenpox case like it.
‘I started to think I was a terrible parent, I felt my relationship with him had gone as I couldn’t settle him or make him happy. I broke down to my sister at one point and told her “I’m a bad mum, I’ve lost my bond with my baby.”’
Fraser would repeatedly cry and, to mum Ali and dad Andy, it seemed clear the baby was unwell.
Ali took the youngster back to the doctors after she noticed several strange bruises on his protruding stomach.
She continued: ‘The doctor kind of laughed at me and called me a neurotic mother, said it was my first baby and things like that.
‘My mum was with me and said “no, something isn’t right here.”’
Nevertheless, the family was sent home and Ali spent sleepless nights Googling Fraser’s symptoms and fearing the worst.
The word ‘leukaemia’ kept appearing during her research.
She desperately took Fraser back to the doctors where they were fortunately met with an ‘amazing’ female doctor.
They were sent to their local A&E for a series of tests, before they were taken into a room by a consultant.
It was there they were told there was an extremely high chance Fraser had cancer.
They were rushed by ambulance to Leicester Royal Infirmary after he fell into a critical condition.
Overnight, Ali and Andy had to tell friends, family and work colleagues about the sudden disruption to their normal lives.
It soon emerged that Fraser had B Cell acute and chronic leukaemia with Burkitts MYC gene rearrangement – a disease normally found in children in Africa.
He and his family were offered palliative care at Great Ormond Street Hospital as tumours spread through the child’s body.
As a couple, Ali and Andy had only got married a matter of months before. Now, they had been suddenly were thrust into the biggest test of their lives.
Andy said: ‘I always say that I fell in love with my wife in a completely new and different way. I’ve seen her at her lowest, she’s seen me at my worst.
‘You help each other and support each other in situations like this.’
Ali added: ‘We supported each other like a deep friendship rather than a marriage in way’.
At three-years-old, Fraser went for a bone marrow transplant in an operation which had a 5% survival rate.
Doctors told the family they’d never given so much chemotherapy to someone so young, or seen a case quite like theirs.
Ali devastatingly began to mentally plan for her son’s funeral, choosing songs and thinking she’d never get to see him again.
Support more children like Fraser in making memories – donate to Make-A-Wish here.
But her brave boy didn’t only survive the transplant – but he recovered in record time.
Soon, the phrase ‘The Fraser Effect’ was coined by doctors as he continued to boldly defy the odds against him.
Fraser recovered after his transplant and learned to walk again, and today loves playing outside and with his Golden Retriever Bingo.
The family also got the chance to experience the unique A Disney WishExperience – brought here to the UK – by the Walt Disney Company UK & Ireland, Make-A-Wish® UK and The Kentown Wizard Foundation – to create a magical Disney Wish experience for children living with serious illness.
Fraser met his hero Spiderman, played countless games with Busted’s Matt Willis and got to hang out with Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
The day provided the chance for both Fraser and his parents to ‘escape from normality’ of hospital visits and treatments.
‘We’ve been through hell,’ said Andy.
‘Fraser has been through hell. But these last couple of days were absolutely awesome. Just to see our fit, healthy young boy have the time of his life.’
Highlighting Fraser’s Make-A-Wish experience, Ali and Andy hope it can bring joy and hope to other families going through a similar situation.
Fraser was released from hospital in January 2020 and has enjoyed a return to school, sports and other activities.
It’s a situation Ali and Andy once feared would never be possible.
As Fraser’s health picked up, Ali battled a sense of survivors guilt as other families in the hospital weren’t as lucky.
She struggled with her identity as a ‘cancer mum’ and admits that, while many friends and family members were brilliant support, others seemed to disappear following her son’s diagnosis.
Ali hopes sharing her story can provide a sense of hope – and determination – to others.
She said: ‘I still crumble now. I can’t watch anything on the TV to do with children with cancer, smells and sounds even take me back.
‘There’s no full way of explaining what we went through or explain a magic way of coping. I’m in touch with a lot of new families going though this for the first time, and I always tell them there’s no book on this.
‘If you want to get angry and march round the hospital – do it, you will never be criticised. As a parent you get judged massively and somehow, there’s people out there, who don’t understand and think it is your fault. But it’s not.’
Both Ali and Andy have seen their outlook on life transform since nearly losing Fraser.
Andy added: ‘Everyone has their own baggage, none of us know what’s going on in other people’s lives.
‘My outlook on the way I look at life is completely different. I won’t judge anyone, I’m here to help.’
Fraser’s hospital visits have gone ‘right down’ and he’s excelled at school since his recovery.
Ali is pregnant with her second child and Fraser is excited to become a big brother.
‘I am nervous,’ Ali said.
‘There’s two sides of me – one that’s really excited. We’ve got the nursery organised, we’re ahead of schedule.
‘But also the veneer is that even though we’ve been told it won’t, could something like Fraser’s situation happen again?
‘That nervousness will always be there, but the positives outweigh the paranoia. And Fraser is super excited and that’s the main thing.’
Make-A-Wish needs your help
More than 63,000 children in the UK have been diagnosed with a critical condition, changing their lives and the lives of their families forever. For them, the joy of childhood is brought to an abrupt end, with treatment plans, hospital visits and sleepless nights taking over.
For those like the Hinde family, wishes can provide life-changing memories.
Not having to plan or finance a trip or day out can ease the mental pressure, if only for a little while, and allow parents to relax.
Jason Suckley, chief executive for Make-A-Wish UK said: ‘The magic of a wish just like Fraser’s can bring joy and light to children and help families create lasting memories that they will treasure forever – no matter what the future holds. People’s support really does mean everything to the children and families who turn to us.
‘This year we have seen a sharp rise in the number of children with short prognoses and we want every single one of these children to experience the life-changing magic of a wish but sadly, the demand for wishes is growing faster than we can meet it.
‘For these children in particular, every day counts so with your support you can play a very real a part in making the wishes of these very special children come true.’
You can donate to the Make-A-Wish Foundation here
Get in touch with our news team by emailing us at webnews@metro.co.uk.
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