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21 of the Queen’s funniest quotes from over her reign

The Queen always enjoyed a joke whenever she got the chance
The Queen always enjoyed a joke whenever she got the chance (Picture: Getty)

The Queen always took her role as monarch very seriously, dedicating her whole life to serving the country.

While appearing in public she embodied professionalism and choose her words carefully.

But the monarch often gave glimpses into her quick wit and legendary sense of humour.

Known for her pithy one-liners, no one was off-limits when she saw the opportunity to wise-crack.

World leaders, celebrities and sportstars all found themselves on the end of one of the Queen’s famous quips during her seven decade reign.

Here we look back on some of the funniest quotes that prove her majesty knew how to make people laugh.

Queen Elizabeth II watches her horse 'First Receiver' compete in and win the Retired Racehorses
Her majesty was fond of a pithy one-liner (Picture: Getty Images Europe)
  • When she was asked why she wears bright colours during her royal appearances, she said: ‘If I wore beige, nobody would know who I am.’
  • In 2006, she gave her verdict on the beautiful game to then Premier League chairman Sir David Richards. ‘Football’s a difficult business and aren’t they prima donnas?’ she said before adding: ‘But it’s a wonderful game.’
  • Giving a speech on her 80th birthday, she quoted the American comedian Groucho Marx: ‘Anyone can get old—all you have to do is to live long enough.’
  • When visiting New Zealand in 1986, the Queen and Prince Philip had eggs thrown at them by protesters. She later told a state banquet: ‘New Zealand has long been renowned for its dairy produce, though I should say that I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast.’
Britain's Queen Elizabeth II smiles while speaking with Scotland's First Minister Nicola Sturgeon during an audience at the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh on June 29, 2021
‘If I wore beige, nobody would know who I am‘ (Picture: Getty)
  • In the summer of 2013, as speculation over the possible arrival date of the royal baby reached fever pitch, the Queen was asked when she thought the child might arrive. ‘I hope it arrives soon because I’m going on holiday,’ was her straight-forward reply.

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  • When Princess Michael of Kent said in an interview that the Queen’s beloved corgis ‘should be shot,’ Elizabeth reportedly said, ‘They’re better behaved than she is!’
  • After hearing the Everly Brothers sing their song ‘Cathy’s Clown’, the Queen told her lady-in-waiting: ‘They sound like two cats being strangled.’
  • She asked legendary guitarist Eric Clapton ‘Have you been playing a long time?’ at a Buckingham Palace reception in 2005.
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and Queen Elizabeth II watch part of a children's sports event while visiting Vernon Park during a Diamond Jubilee visit to Nottingham on June 13, 2012
Speaking about her family, the Queen said: ‘We have our share of eccentricities‘ (Picture: Getty Images Europe)
  • When opening an exhibition of artist Lucian Freud’s nude paintings, the Queen told an aide she had made every effort not to be photographed ‘between a pair of those great thighs’.
  • Speaking about her family life in 1989, she didn’t mince her words: ‘Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.’
  • At the Chelsea Flower Show in 2016, when told by a gardener how lilies of the valley have poisonous traits she is said to have replied: ‘I’ve been given two bunches this week. Perhaps they want me dead.’
  • She was out walking in Scotland once when a passer-by commented that she ‘looked just like the Queen.’ ‘How reassuring,’ she replied.
Queen Elizabeth II waves from the balcony of the White House with President George W. Bush on May 7, 2007 in Washington, Virginia
The Queen was always happy to share a joke with other world leaders (Picture: Getty)
  • Speaking about her ability to remember things, the Queen was quoted in the Guardian in 1996 as saying: ‘Some things stay there, some things go out of the other ear, and some things don’t go in at all.’
  • When it was suggested that she bring in more security guards while out in public, she said: ‘I have to be seen to be believed.’
  • When asked by James Bond actor Roger Moore’s former wife why she was carrying her purse around while inside Buckingham Palace, she replied, ‘This house is very big, you know.’
  • During a trip to the U.S. in 1991, the five foot three monarch found herself dwarfed by the podium at the White House, with only her hat showing. The next day in front of the House of Congress she opened her remarks with: ‘I do hope you can see me today.’
President Gerald Ford laughs during a toast delivered by Britain's Queen Elizabeth at the White House State Dinner given in the Queen's honor during her US Bicentennial visit, Washington DC, July 7, 1976.
Her speech clearly amused then US president Gerald Ford in 1976 (Picture: Getty)
  • Back in the States in 2007, President George W Bush mistakenly thanked the Queen for helping Americans celebrate their bicentennial in 1776, not 1996. Speaking at a formal dinner two days later, the Queen began by saying: ‘I wondered whether I should start this toast by saying, “When I was here in 1776…”‘
  • She was made to feel her age again during a dinner in Malta in November 2015, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau pointed out he was the 12th leader to serve during the Queen’s 63 year reign to which the monarch quipped: ‘Thank you, Mr prime minister of Canada, for making me feel so old.’
  • Appearing alongside world leaders at a photo call for the G7 in Cornwall in 2021, the Queen picked up on some negativity in the group: ‘Are you supposed to be looking as if you’re enjoying yourselves?’, she quipped.
  • During an interview for the documentary The Coronation, the Queen commented on how hard it is to wear the crown, literally: ‘You can’t look down to read the speech, If you did, your neck would break.’
  • During an argument with her mother, Elizabeth was asked ‘Who do you think you are?’ To which she replied: ‘The Queen, mummy, the Queen.’

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